Delusions of Grandeur

And Since I've Got A Hot Minute

2005-06-02T10:07:00.000-04:00

... and was just thinking about something. Well at first I was thinking about the Micheal Jackson case, and here's the thing; If he really were just sleeping with kids cause he loves them, blah blah blah, then why aren't there any girls?

And the obvious reason is, he is fixated with young boys. He probably can relate to them well cause he didn't grow up beyond when he got famous (as a little boy).

That's my theory at this current moment, at least.

I still really love my job, and for the most part I really like the people. I heart working with my sis, we have so much fun. And the GM adores me. It's just fantastic.

Camp was great after the first day. I just had a hard time adjusting this go around... whatever, it was great in the long run. And I really enjoyed spending all that time with my darlings and friends.

Everything else is sorta blah, blah, blah... so yeah, that's the update for now cause I'm getting bored with this.

Gmail

2005-06-02T10:06:00.000-04:00

I have something like 49 invites, so if ya want one... email me and you got one.

The Cleaning Problem

2005-05-19T12:44:00.000-04:00

.... Seems to have almost worked itself out.

Well, at least on the getting ready for next week front. Not really a long term situation to be found yet, but in the meantime;

I have found a couple of great kids I know who want to make money and want to clean. So on friday I will have my bathroom, living room and kitchen done! All while I am getting a hair cut!!! Yay!

I'm also considering hiring someone to come in and spring clean for me, gut out all the crap that we don't want/need/use, organize what we still have and then do some of the cleaning that never even enters my mind (windows, dusting, etc).... If you were someone how much would you want to be paid for something like that?

I'm thinking it's going to be costly, and also a one time fee... But worth EVERY SINGLE DIME.

I'd much rather spend money and save my sanity. Haha.

Books I Want To Get

2005-05-19T12:35:00.000-04:00

The Bad Beginning by Lemony Snicket - inspired from watching the movie, which I found suprisingly delightful.

Searching for the Sound: My Life with the Grateful Dead by Phil Lesh - the cover alone was enough to get me interested not to mention it's about The Dead!!!!

Kiss Me Like A Stranger: My Search for Love & Art by Gene Wilder - To this day I can watch Willy Wonka and get something new, or Young Frankenstein and catch a quick nip that I'd missed. I find him to be one of the best comedic minds of all time. So I'm already interested without even knowing that he gives tons of details about Richard Pryor, and his life with Gilda Radner.

I can not wait to go and grab these along with a book all about paper airplanes and one on magic tricks this weekend to read at camp!

Don't Listen To That Women Behind The Curtain

2005-05-19T12:32:00.000-04:00

Cause she is gonna tell you that mint mocha chip fraps are good from Starbucks...

Just kidding D. But really, I don't think I've ever not liked something from Starbucks and yet I took my first [and last] taste of something I can only describe to you as hideous. Horrible. Gross. Ewww.

I actually like mint chocolate chip ice cream. Maybe I just need to be in the right mood for it, or the planets need to be in alignment with Mars on the solar eclipse of a leap year for me to like this drink. Who knows.

All I can tell you is that when D calls me to tell about our new summer drink, I will yell and scream LA LA LA LA from now on. Hehe.

Catch Up

2005-05-18T10:21:00.000-04:00

Let's see... This is an excuse, as wellas not an excuse. I haven't had time to do anything lately. And by anything, I mean just that. Anything.

The past 3 weeks I've been averaging about 32 - 35 hrs per wk at work, parenting full time during daylight hours and my days off. And well to be quite honest between just those two everything else has fallen to the dogs.

That is until the past 2 days. Monday went to RJ for about a hot minute, but no one I wanted to see was there so we didn't really stay for long. Came home and cleaned up the kitchen and got some help in the living room.

Of course I'm telling myself all this right now so as not to get completely overwhelmed by what still needs to be done...

See, I basically work wednesday thru sunday and in that same amount of time I have to pack 5 days worth of life for 4 people, clean the entire house down (in which I hope to get rid of some of the crap that is plaguing the house), make sure my boss gave me the right days off [!!!!], get food for next week and then pack up the car with all the going away stuff. Oh and work all in that time frame too. LOL.

However once all that is done I will have off 5 whole entire days and I'll be spending them with my kids. Do you know how excited I am right now about that? I'm also super excited to spend some good times with friends I haven't really gotten to see at all lately.

I'm glad I changed my mind about going. Letting one tiny little person keep me from this nice vacation is so stupid and I'm glad I got rational again. :)

Anyway, it's been a year. And wow, what a year. Hard times, and plenty of good/great times. But I'm also starting to consider that romantic relationships are about as pointless as bellybuttons.

Ok, gotta run.

I Am Alive....

2005-05-10T22:03:00.000-04:00

Well at least I've got a theory of being aliveness. Or maybe it's a theory of a theory? Whatever.

I'm missing so much right now, I feel like it's going to take 2 weeks just to catch up. This past week I worked almost everyday. And I'm basically doing the same again this week. Only days off are monday & tuesday - and well the laundry has piled up so badly that I was actually asked if I could go to the store just to get clean socks. [ruh ro]

I am thinking that I would like 2 things right now, 1. a roomate and 2. a housekeeper.

And I only want a really cool roomate who has their own life and will hardly be around to bother me, so really I just want a housekeeper. LOL.

Anyway lots of things popping into my head, will post l8r when sleep isn't so ~~wanted~~ needed.

Urbanite

2005-05-03T10:33:00.000-04:00

Did you know there is an Urban Dictionary????

Yes, put in anything and find out what it means;

1. Word

1) well said
2)said in a agreement
3) can be used as a greeting, hey whats up

1..and 2...Yo u goin to that rocks tanite....word
3) word up

It's a lucky thing I ran across that because I could have been very mistaken in thinking these little markings on my computer that are spelled out with various letters were words.... But hey, that's just me.

Growl

2005-04-29T09:37:00.000-04:00

I'm done with boys...

Ok, I'm really not but I'm giving up on the idea of wanting someone. Or finding someone.

Errr, what I mean to say is that I'm not giving up on love. Nor the possibility. No, instead I am just taking a break from it all and enjoying me time.Or at least just give myself enough time to rethink some things and let go of some others.

No Excuses

2005-04-28T09:56:00.000-04:00

Because I don't have any pics up yet. You're just going to have to wait until it stops hurting [!!!!!!!!!] and is healed.

Moving To Iceland?

2005-04-25T16:49:00.000-04:00

Today I was reading some very cool/interesting pop culture type stuff about Iceland. They are definitely liberal in their thinking. And in some ways I find it all very interesting, and adore some of the thinking going on there.

For example single parents have no stigma attached to them in any way. That is something that I find to be perfect. Being single does not mean love is lacking, nor does it mean that a person's life is less than because they don't have some stupid piece of paper. And being a single parent does not mean that either.

But what I also found very refreshing was their theories about sex, and the idea that it's not something horrible people shouldn't do. They don't think of young people (the age was 15 to be specific) as being promiscous if they are having sex, regardless of being a male or female. Sex is just one of the things a fair number of the people living there do.

The last thing I really thought was fantastic was that people come together to raise families without having the premise of marriage. Sometimes people choose to be together just for the family, and some of the people come together to have blended families. It's very cool!!

Ok, ok I admit I don't think I could stand a day where it's light outside for 2 hours or being so mindnumbingly cold that my limbs will fall off but I did find Iceland to be a fairly cool place [to visit].

Tramp Stamp

2005-04-25T14:23:00.000-04:00

What's that you ask? Well according to some (people whom we won't mention. haha) it's the tattoo women sometimes get right above their butts. On the small of the back....

I have no idea really why it might be called a tramp stamp, but that doesn't matter anyway.

What does matter is that right now my back is sore. It's certainly less red than yesterday and no longer screaming at me. But still all the same, sore. And why is my back sore you ask?

Well...

I got a tramp stamp, basically. On the small of my back I got a lotus with tribal symbols around it. (pictures to follow as soon as camera batteries are charged). It's sexy, if you ask me. Not to mention the meaning of it.

See the lotus is a buddhist symbol. They have several meanings, certain colors are taken to mean other things. For example a red lotus is a symbol of passion, love, etc etc. while a blue lotus is a symbol of wisdom and knowledge. (this site has a little more info if you are curious)

Anyway, so the lotus basically is a flower that starts off in dirty, muddy water - closed up but each day becomes more beautiful until it finally blossoms. To me that symbol spoke to me in such a strong way. Each day I feel I grow, and as each day grows life just seems to blossom. Living a good life is like being a lotus. So that's why I got the lotus as my tramp stamp.

I heart it tremendously.

It's Official

2005-04-22T12:57:00.000-04:00

I am now and forever known as Bob.

Music, What Soothes Your Inner Savage?

2005-04-22T12:45:00.000-04:00

Music soothes the savage beasts. Or at least speaks to them enough to make one bob their head about and have some good times.

I heart music. I can listen to music for hours upon hours, and not even notice. I love being in music stores, poking around trying to find that next greatest CD that will no doubt sit in my CD player playing for at least 2 weeks non-stop. Of course I am so picky when it comes to entire CDs that this doesn't happen, often.

My latest (and truthfully speaking one of the greatest) was The Wall by the studly Pink Floyd. I already have Dark Side of the Moon and just finally bit the bullet and got The Wall.

The only I am finding today is that Pink Floyd is one of those bands that only works when it works. If you can catch me...

So now I am in search of more music to tame my inner savage, and looking to you good people to make my playlist just that much longer! Any suggestions for specific songs, great albums or all around kick ass groups welcome [and wanted, so you better give them cause I know where you all live. Well maybe not Emma but I know where the rest of you live.]

The Pine

2005-04-22T11:47:00.000-04:00

So I'm watching this show. It's one of those shows people sometimes watch but don't admit cause it's just far too embarrassing.

Anyway, watching the show - the start of the 6th season starts with the people all coming back from their summer fun, and two of the main characters trying to start back up a relationship.

So during the summer each seemed to have a non-commital relationship but they come back together, have sex and then the girl completely flips out. Basically she just loses her mind because the guy had been with another girl.

The chick had someone else too, why is it ok for her to have a fling and not him?

And basically the whole thing got me thinking about how we (in the general sense of course) want to be pined after. Why do people want their other halves/spouses/friends to wait around and hope for them while they get to move on and change? What causes those jealous feelings to pop up when that fantasy is shattered?

The only thing that I can even remotely come up with is....Fantasy. It's not about the actual person, or the relationship. It's about an idea of what we think the relationship should be.

Like if Jamie goes out for a girls night, her idea might be that Bob is just sitting around watching The Notebook sobbing in his beers waiting for her to get home. She might take that idea with her all night and come home early just to take care of her man.

However Jamie's idea really might have nothing to do with reality. Maybe Bob is overjoyed his girl is getting a life of her own and now he can have all his mates over, show off the big screen and watch the Orioles trample the Yankees.

I think being pined after probably is great for the ego. To be wanted and needed is a feeling only to be described as powerful. I think it's one of the things that keeps humans growing, changing, getting better all the time. (the being wanted & needed, not the being pined after part. Haha)

Ok, anyway I'm still thinking about what else it could mean...to want to be pined over...Maybe I'll come back to this later

Blarging Weather

2005-04-22T11:46:00.000-04:00

...did not hold out. No instead it decided to rain, and continue with gray skies and rain thru the whole darn weekend. Heh...

No camping [!!]

Names

2005-04-19T12:25:00.000-04:00

They can be kinda tricky.

Well, ok not really at all. See, here's the thing. About 4 years ago (maybe 3, who knows) I wanted to change my name. For various reasons, none of which are even worth bothering to mention but still wanted to change the name...

So, I did. For the most part. Some people still kept with the old name, family especially. And new people met by the new chosen name.

Now here's the problem, being both. And now even wanting to just chuck the new name and just be who I am but still being who I am to people who know me with the new name. If any of that makes any sense at all. Haha.

Basically I just want to make things as simple as possible or ummm, some other lame reason I want to just be me.

[Yeah, none of this makes sense. Don't be surprised if you end up with a headache. Take 2 tylenol and call me in the morning.]

Camping

2005-04-19T12:21:00.000-04:00

Haven't gone. Kicking myself for it too....

See I really want to go. And a large part of me really wants to go all by lonesome. Not a soul in sight sort of deal. But there is also a part of me that wants some sort of company, of which has left me procrastinating on the whole going camping thing.

So today exec decision, I'm going camping friday - as long as this wonderful, georgeous, beautiful, amazing weather holds out! It won't be much of a trip or anything just one night cause I have to work saturday night anyway. But I am so ready for a get away!

The Stick Has Been Passed...

2005-04-19T08:08:00.000-04:00

Dawn has passed her torch on and well she actually blogged which is fairly exciting in and of itself, so here goes;

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?

I know this is going to sound a bit silly but right now any of the Harry Potter books!

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

Absolutely

The last book you bought is:

Minnowknits Knitting book of which the actual title is completely escaping me.

The last book you read:

The Notebook

What are you currently reading?

Re-reading The Red Tent

Five books you would take to a deserted island:

I'll copy Dawn, Gil, and Emma, and start with Extreme Survival Almanac: Everything You Need to Know to Live Through a Shipwreck, Plane Crash, or Any Outdoor Crisis Imaginable by Reid Kincaid.

Stitch N' Bitch

Six By Suess

Green Eggs & Ham, as it's not in Six By Suess and Who does not like Green Eggs and Ham??

Helter Skelter for no other reason than for years it's been a book I read and read again over and over. And over.

Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons)? And Why?

Uhhh...Diane? Hamster? Mike? Anyone else with a blog who might have absolutely nothing else to do....

Marvin Gaye

2005-04-18T16:41:00.000-04:00

He is THE MAN.

That is all.

Mindless Ranting... Feel Free To Ignore...

2005-04-18T16:23:00.000-04:00

No matter how much some people want men and women to be the same, it will never happen. I'm not one for generalizations because every person is different and unique and I know I myself am not typical in any sense...

But I have really come to realize that the way women and men think is so drastically different in some situations that without actually talking to each other it's no wonder people are crazy. (Of course I mean crazy in the kindest way, as in the fact I myself am crazy...)

This weekend a group of us went out. We were hanging at one place then all decided to go hang at another place. Now, as usual lately, I was the lone female of the group... And well we ended up at Champions and well when you are at a pool hall, what would be the thing to do?

Play pool. So I said, let's play pool right? Well apparently in this particular group of man's world when a guy and girl go off from the group together it means there is some sort of interest......................................... Uhhhhhhhhh............

Well, let me just tell you. When someone says, hey let's play some pool that's generally what they mean. Nothing more. Really, I swear.

Also, if you say hi to me, call out my name and I don't remember your name at all don't take offense. I am terrible with people's name. A face I never forget but everyone else is just Bob. Ok? Good.

And last but certainly not least, giving out your number in no way means "I heart you", "I want to *uck you like an animal" or "Will you please hit on me several times". I mean what the hell??? How do people generally make friends and get to know other people if the second they hand out their number everything has to change?

Why can't people just hang out, have fun and just let it be at that? If I see ya, I see ya. And if I don't, it ain't anything. Really.

I mean I do know I have some [bizarre] relationship theories that for the most part other people don't have. I think people can go out, enjoy each other's company, do whatever they like together without it having to mean something specific. I find the idea of a boyfriend offensive, and can't even imagine being anyone's girlfriend. Aside from the time thing personally I have no interest in all the crap that goes with those titles.

I don't need to be called 20 times a day, have flowers brought to my door or someone who wants to keep tabs on what I am doing. Nor do I want to do that to anyone else.

I enjoy my freedom and my time is precious so if and when we hang out, I want to have fun and enjoy it. Kwim?

Ok, anyway I don't even remember now why I started this post... I just am feeling a bit frusterated with having my ideas and ideals fit into the world of reality.

Would I like to meet someone whom I really can connect with and enjoy? Absolutely. I just don't need or want all the other crap that goes with what I want.

Work

2005-04-18T16:14:00.000-04:00

Why is that people go to resturants when they hate being near or around anyone? I mean for the love of all that is holy, why on **** green earth would you go out to a busy place to sit around hating everyone and being as miserable as a son of *i*ch to everyone?

See people come into resturants all the time and the only thing I can figure out is that because they are miserable arses it is just easier to go out to places and make everyone else miserable too....

That said, I seriously love my job. I really love the energy that is there, and a good number of the people are ok enough to want to talk to on occassion. In fact the only downside I can see is that when you are in the resturant business those are some of the only people one can hang out with simply because when you both get off work at 1am, they are the only ones who are going to want to go and do something with your arse too.... I'm fairly sure if I called any of my friends at 1am and said "Man, I'm hyped as crap let's go do something" I would swiftly be pulled thru the phone and kicked in my tiny little bottom.

Anyway, it's not really a badside at all, I just have been missing my friends. Lately I have been feeling that because my life has and still is changing so much I am just not getting to connect with them like before.

My time is so limited now, not to mention the ongoing 2 weeks of cold that has been kicking my bottom that I haven't really talked to anyone [!!]

Blahness

2005-04-06T11:07:00.000-04:00

I have nothing to say. Feeling uninspired at the moment....people are sick. Blah.

Also baseball season has begun. You are warned :)

Random Stuff

2005-03-31T09:38:00.000-05:00

Last night I went to bed by 10:30, of my own free will. That hasn't happened in ages but I was sooo tired. Yay!

Working is awesome. The place I work has this natural energy already between music and the people, then when it gets busy the energy level just seems to jump into superdrive and I love that sort of energy. I like this job so much!

My house is kinda funny. This week it's still managed to get messy and no one has even been here. Between working, Hamster coming to visit and just the general run around that we do around here we just haven't been home. At all. And yet somehow, someway it still gets clothes all over the floor - laundry piles up - and for once the kitchen stays clean.

The cat is insane. Even though we tend to be pretty busy we also tend to be home a lot more than this past week. And because of this the cat has lost his mind. Last night [aka the wee hours of early this morning] he got so desperate for attention that he came into my room, started licking my nose and then biting me. Darn cat.

Cranky sleeper. That's what I am. I have never been one to be woken up by someone else and not get spiteful. I would much rather wake up myself, have 15-20 minutes to zone out - usually checking emails or sitting here blogging. So needless to say the cat was swiftly pushed out last night, door shut. Darn cat.

Food. I haven't been hungry much lately. I don't know if it's just that I've been too busy or food hasn't been at the front of my mind, who knows really. Regardless if one more person tells me I've lost too much weight I might have to put on a sign. It might just say, "Will work for food".

Speaking of weight, I know I could stand to gain about 5 lbs but at the same time I'm wearing clothes I haven't worn in hmm say 8 or so years. I don't know what's too fat or what's too skinny but man, I feel fabulous.

And since I feel fab, I want to get back to the gym. It's been over a week since I got to go. Well since I chose to go is more accurate, I could have gone any time last weekend but I didn't. So maybe that's what I'll do friday.

Because I really am getting excited about going camping. I think until I get enough money saved up to buy all the backpacking gear I need I'm just going to go and camp someplace a little more local. I can hike after my tent is set up. Right? Ok, good. Just agree with me. And that's in like 2 weeks! Yayness.

Comments

2005-03-28T11:35:00.000-05:00

Alice asks a great question;

**And it begs the question, why do we all use horrible dishcloths all the time? Why don't we have lovely ones that feel nice and look gorgeous instead, be they minimally neutral or rainbow-striped? Why do simple cleaning utensils have to be so ugly?**

Great question! And well the only answer I can think up is, I don't. I've been trying to only use the nice yummy goodnesses I've made. Of course if I made more than 2 I might be able to pull it off more often. Haha.

Really I think I might have to hold Alice up on that whole making a fortune thing ;-)

And I'm answering this here and not in comments because, well, it's my blog. Heh.

Maybe that's what I can go do right now. Knit some more yummy goodness.

Redneck Woman

2005-03-28T10:58:00.000-05:00

Now anyone who knows me, especially those who know me well, knows that I am so not the country type. In any sense of the word.

I couldn't tell Kenny Chesney from Tanya Tucker to Brooks & Dunne. I wouldn't know the difference between gospel type country to pop country if it came up and smacked me with a roast beef sandwich.

Awhile back I spent the night over at a friend's house. She was trying to convince me that by summer I would be listening to folk music and bluegrass, or her name wasn't.... I laughed, knowing she was completely wrong.

That was until Cold Mountain. Yes, the movie. I happen to think it's a great movie. It gave me a new perspective on the Civil War and war in general. How different things affect everyone. No one is immune. But anyway, it also gave me an appreciation for new music.

I went out and bought the soundtrack. I immediately put it into the CD player in the car and listened. I heart that soundtrack.

Of course Little Miss Convince was right ;-) (just don't tell her that. haha)

So on saturday when I found myself sitting with Hamster at a massively redneck country karoke bar I was less than optimistic that I would enjoy myself. See the sister convinced Ham & I to come out and have some fun and the place of choice was this place called Memories.

Singing, dancing. Yeah I can get into that. Seeing old friends, having a good time. Also can get into that. But guess what got me? The music. Good ol' country. Needless to say I spent yesterday getting some new music to add to the already crazy collection. Yay!

(I highly recommend looking at the link of Redneck woman. That song is awesome)

More On Choices

2005-03-28T10:32:00.000-05:00

I just realized that the experience I had this weekend (wrt choices) is how most children's lives are lead. Little to no choice. Little options as to what is ok, or allowed.

Sometimes it really does take a glimpse of what can be lost, even for just a brief second to jumpstart the brain. I'm so glad that we, as Americans and more importantly a family are free to make choices for ourselves.

We get to decide only for ourselves.

Maybe I'm being an emotional girl (which I am, both a girl and emotional) but right now just thinking about how powerful and good that is. And how right it feels to live with people and have all the options available is so amazing to me.

There's so much more room for real freedom, real choices and real creativity.

Choices

2005-03-28T10:02:00.000-05:00

I'll admit it, I really didn't consider how important the option of choice could be. That was until the option was no longer available, leaving the freedom of choice rather desireable.

See, everyday people make tons and tons of choices. Most are done without even a whole thought. Water or OJ. Blue or red shirt. Country or bluegrass CD. Mild or hot salsa. Really most of those are done within seconds and not even at the forefront of the mind. I mean really it's not like figuring out rocket science.

But imagine just a minute if you lost all those choices. You can only wear the red shirt, have water, listen to country, and eat hot salsa. They were all decided for you. Would it matter? Perhaps if you really love all of those things it could be ok to just live with it.

I don't want to live with it. I want to be able to put on techno music and folk music within seconds of each other. I want to sing Redneck Woman as loud and as often as I want without someone telling me that I can't do it.

Anyway, I really learned how important those choices can be this weekend. And I'm really appreciating all the little things because of it.

Dishcloths

2005-03-24T09:45:00.000-05:00

This was one of my first knitting projects. Just a simple dishcloth.

Blog Pics

2005-03-24T09:41:00.000-05:00

Emma asked; " So how did you gets pictures? Can you host them on Blogger?"

And all I can say is Photobucket.

WooHoo Me

2005-03-23T16:13:00.000-05:00

I gotz a job. I gotz a job.

I knew I had it :)

Testing

2005-03-23T11:46:00.000-05:00

Just testing to see if I can get pics here now! Hopefully what you are seeing is a sweater I made for a bootiful bootiful I live with :)

P.S.

2005-03-22T23:18:00.000-05:00

If half of what I say makes sense, than I'm doing good. :)

What A Girl Wants

2005-03-22T23:12:00.000-05:00

What a girl needs.... I think there's a song like that or something.

Anyway, I was chatting with one of my sister's today. (well technically both of them, but that's besides the point). And we were talking about how to get what we want. Being creative, etc. That's about when it hit me.

I have everything I want right now. Back in August, maybe October I remember sitting with some friends talking about what I wanted for myself. Feeling a bit pessimistic that it just wasn't going to happen.

Well, guess what?! It's happened!! Things are actually turning out. The key to it is to just keep living a good life, and remain optimistic that things will work out. They may not work exactly the way one thinks, but they do work out.

Sometimes it just takes being open, willing to change things and stuff just seems to come together.

How freakin awesome.

Complaining Ahead

2005-03-22T22:59:00.000-05:00

When I think back on the past 10 years I have all kinds of memories. Most are great, and I appreciate everything I've been thru during that time to get here.

But...

There are times when I just want to bitch. Complain about the really crappy relationship I have been in for 10 years. 10 years!!!

The problem is that 1. I won't, 2. I'm actually really glad I had that relationship and 3. No matter what I will remain friendly and amicable with this person for the rest of my life. So, in all that I won't complain. ~~Publicly~~.

However, I will talk about some things I've learned.

I have some of the BESTest friends in the world. That I can do whatever it is I want. - Meaning I don't need someone else to fix a leaky faucet, I can do it. I don't need someone else to do the dishes, I just wish they would. I don't need someone else to wash my back, but I do need one of those luffa thingies.

When I was younger I used to have this theory; "I always get what I want". Boy had I forgotten that. And in the midst of everything going on in this past year I am re-learning that. I can have my cake, and damned if I'm not gonna eat that cake too!

One of the funny things (well funny to me) is how much I feel like I have come alive in this past year. It's as if a switch has been turned back on and I'm free.

Speaking of free, I got my entire dinner paid for tonight. Cause I'm just cool like that. Hahaha. Yeah, anyway.

No need to complain anyway, life is too great.

A Job

2005-03-22T22:56:00.000-05:00

Well hopefully by this time tomorrow I will have a job. Nothing grand or spectacular. Just a job.

I'm really rather excited. It's been 8 years since I've had a job, that wasn't per project or as needed.

Yay!

Movies

2005-03-18T12:44:00.000-05:00

I just finished watching Napoleon Dynamite.

And..... ummmm..... yeah, it sucked.

Now, if you want a good movie. Go watch Secondhand Lions. I love that movie, and it made me cry.

Last Question

2005-03-18T12:13:00.000-05:00

Have lots of fun this weekend. I know I will be.

Last Question; Have you ever sorta missed something, only to have it return to then really really miss it??

Control

2005-03-18T12:07:00.000-05:00

And no I don't mean the Janet Jackson song. Although a perfectly fine song, not what I'm talking about.

Question: Where did the idea come from?

Why did white men control slaves and women? Why did husbands control their wives? And why do parents want to control their kids?

What is the purpose?

Is it a protection sort of thing? Like because you are too stupid to take care of yourself properly I'll do it for you (??)

Just curious

The Gym

2005-03-18T10:09:00.000-05:00

Wednesday I went to the gym again. The sisters & I got together. What could be better than working out, and hanging with 2 of the coolest people?

I wanted to do the machines again. My body was finally starting to forgive me, a little. And I want to keep that up so that my body will stop hating me so much after each session. So, the plan was to use the machines.

Well....

I got there, and completely blanked. I remembered what to do with 2 of the machines. And I seem to recall the name of 1 of them. But everything else was a huge blurry mess. Which means,

No machines.

Instead I did cardio for 30 minutes. Which I really like doing. I love getting on that bike and completely zoning out. I ended up doing about 4.5 miles. Which isn't that great but I'm optimistic I will get better.

What is Romance?

2005-03-18T09:42:00.000-05:00

Some people might say that I am a romantic [sap] at heart. I love to watch elderly couples walk down the street holding hands. Catching a glimpse of a first kiss. Tender touches. Maybe that's why I love romantic comedies so much.

I love laughing (it has to be one of the best things to do in the entire world). And I love to feel inspired.

I also know I couldn't even begin to define what romance is. Initially I would say that it's that raw, fantastic knowledge creation that happens between 2 people. Like the newness of it all. But what about after that? I don't think romance just stops there. So what is it then?

Could it be when eyes lock and everyone else around seems to disappear? Flowers and a box of chocolates? (which btw, if it is. don't tell me. I don't tend to like either). Kissing? Holding hands?

Or maybe those are just traditions and the romance is something else entirely. A mix of emotions and knowledge that happens all together?

Clearly I don't know.

There's a little bit of this discussion going on over here. However, most of it isn't making any sense to me.

What do you think?

Things Not To Do While Text Messaging

2005-03-18T08:04:00.000-05:00

I heart me some txt msg'ing! Once I figured out the whole predictive text (which is really very, very easy to figure out once an actual person shows ya - cause the manual makes no sense) thing it didn't take me 5 minutes to write out H.E.L.L.O.

For the most part I just hit the keys and for the most part get the word I'm looking for. Of course some stuff is off, it's not perfected or whatever. However...

There are certain things a person really shouldn't try to do while txt msg'ing. And because I am such a helpful, terrific person I am here to help! Read it, learn it, live it.

Top 10 Do Not's:

1. Greetings. - Do I even need to say anymore?

2. Bathtub. - Phones should not be used in or near filled bathtubs. ~~oops~~ Dammit.

3. The Other Person. - Do.Not.Hand.Your.Phone.Over. They have their own.

4. The Other Other Person. - For the love of all that is holy, make sure you are sending the right message to the right person. Grandma will not appreciate the "fun" txt. Trust me.

5. Angry. - It's much easier to pick up the phone and tell someone they're an assclown. It might be a little more fun too.

6. Thinking of You.- Listen carefully; Pick up the phone and call. Seriously.

7. ~~left blank~~

8. Driving. - Yeah, this would seem like an obvious one. But it's not. One of two things is happening if you are txt'ing while driving; you aren't watching the road (!!) or you are about to send a really screwed message. Don't txt and drive.

9. Drinking. - A little bit of a tricky one. See, I'm not talking the lone glass of wine txt. Or even the late night "fun" txt. I'm talking about those txt msgs that are sent out after a long night of partying that you just have no idea what the hell you are saying, let alone remembering the next day.

And last, but not least;

10. The Date. - Warning! Warning! May cause personal harm, loss of limb and severe injury... Really not a good idea to txt other people while on the date. Especially if you are doing the forementioned "fun" txt.

If you follow these 10 simple rules, you will live a happy prosperous life.

Sometimes...

2005-03-16T23:11:00.000-05:00

One should just shut the hell up, and wait.

That is all

Life Is So Awesome

2005-03-14T09:57:00.000-05:00

Have I mentioned how much I love my life?

Reality Crap

2005-03-14T09:14:00.000-05:00

What is the deal with TV lately? There is absolutely nothing worth watching.

Why are the networks so freakin obsessed with reality tv. It's vile and boring. I personally don't give two flyin' donkey's butts if Grandma is marrying a midget or if Bob the Builder is a millionare. Models throwing up in trash cans. Whatever. It's all crap.

And because it's all crap, I've found myself watching very little in the way of tv. In fact the only tv I have watched is re-runs of Buffy and my Angel DVDs. Btw, I entirely heart Spike - which I will say more about cause Spike is hot.

Anyway, so I'm rather sick of crap tv.

Personal Instruction On How To Hurt Like Haides

2005-03-14T09:03:00.000-05:00

Sunday morning I had an orientation at my gym. Work with a personal trainer (who happens to be absolutely adorable). Err, I mean who is very professional and all. Basically I didn't know how to use some of the stuff, so I wanted a quick run through.

I kinda figured 10 minutes, in and out.

Well...

After an hour of learning each machine, personally - some 2 to 3 reps later - I felt really great. Was still tired after the weekend, but my body felt fantastic.

Until... I woke up this morning. My entire upperbody is screaming.

And right now it's telling me; "what the hell was that?! we are so pissed at you for doing that to us we are going to make you cry like a girl each time you move. Never ever do that to us again!"

Cry, I just might.

The Backup Plan

2005-03-13T15:32:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was sitting in the salon, getting my hair cut, when the conversation of marriage came up. Generally not a strange thing, it's just that the past couple weeks that seems to be the topic of conversation many a time. Kinda eerie.

It's like this mad rush to cross the finish line. Get married by X age, then have 2.5 kids by Y age. And frankly, it's weird.

Anyway, back to what I was saying. So my hairdresser and I are discussing marriage, divorce. Fears about changing. Being single. Etc. And the girl in the chair one over says, "Well you always gotta have that backup plan." I think I laughed, or nodded. Not really thinking about the idea of a 'backup plan'.

See, the idea is that if the current plan one is on falls through there's another plan (ie; person) to fall back on. I suppose as a joke it could be kinda funny. Like 2 close friends who promise to marry the other if they get to 35 and still aren't married, yet never happens for whatever reason. Right.

But I sit here thinking about that idea, and it's kinda a strange one. To me it's like just waiting for that other shoe to drop. Not really living this life, to the fullest, because there's always Plan B. And all that says is FEAR.

Being so scared of what tomorrow might bring, or not bring. Scared to take real chances and test where things can and do go. Waiting around for that other shoe, and this idea of inevitable failure. Because there's always Plan B.

No, that's not for me. Even though there are terrifying days where I wonder what my life will bring that I stay awake and can't sleep I want to take those chances. To live today, where I am. In this space.

This is the first time I've ever just really enjoyed my life. And appreciated each and every moment of it. To take chances I couldn't before, and try new things. I really just love my life!

The Interview

2005-03-13T09:26:00.000-05:00

My dear friend D (aka Mrs. Otto) sent me the interview questions. The idea is come up with 5 questions, and ask 5 different people. Or have them ask you to be interviewed. Anyway, something like that. So here are my questions from her;

[**my answers**]

1. If you could go back and change one thing you've done, or do one thing you've neglected to do, what would it be?

**Truthfully I wouldn't. I got here today by taking all the steps to get here. And I really ~~like~~ love here.

2. What is your dream job?

**Working with kids. Helping them, hanging out with them. I absolutely love giving people advice and talking anyway.

3. If you could vote for anyone for President, who would it be and why?

**I'll vote for Eminem to be President. Maybe. We need someone to shake stuff up, and he's just the guy to do it.

4. What was your favorite childhood book?

**The Pokey Little Puppy.

5. Describe your idea of a perfect 24 hours.

**Wow, really great question. Hmm.

I suppose right now I'd have two different versions;

- Wake up cuddling and smiling with everyone. Get ready for the day, slowly and easily. Sit down and eat some grub, discuss what everyone wants to do with the day and start doing it. I, of course would spend that time cooking a nice home cooked meal and knitting. End the day with a nice cooked meal, a movie and more cuddling in bed. .... Oh wait, that's a fair number of how days go here already! Awesome.

- My weekend answer... Hmm, friday night hanging out with a cool person/people. Meanwhile packing up my equipment for the next day. Probably going to the grocery to get a good water supply and some snacks together. Then possibly doing more of that cuddling thing (cause I think I'm just a natural sap at heart). Then waking up really early. Before the sun rises, and start hiking. Go as far as my body can, pitch a tent and sleep under the stars.

Gosh I can't wait until it's warm so I can do that.

Micheal Jackson

2005-03-13T09:15:00.001-05:00

I'm at the point with him/her/it that I don't want to hear another gosh darn thing. Is it really worth stopping all news programs to analyze, discuss and watch a stupid car drive down the street.

Seriously, I don't give a flyin' fudgecicle if Micheal Jackson is going to be arrested and whether he shows up to court or not. He's a complete freak, hopefully one they'll throw the key in on.

If judges want to ignore people not showing up to court, and the rest of the planet wants to remember the days when he was a cute little black kid who could sing, whatever. But stop intrupting my news.

Thank you

Bathroom Math.

2005-03-10T15:25:00.000-05:00

This made me so proud. Or at least I smiled greatly. Leave it to Gil to not only be good at bathroom humor, but bathroom math.

Stupid People

2005-03-08T22:58:00.000-05:00

I was just watching the repeat of the Bill Maher show from friday... and GAH GAH GAH....

It happens that quick. Complete and total loss of any respect I've had for that guy.
He was talking about Jamie Foxx's speech and praised hitting small people. What an ass. Even worse was the former president of the Red Cross who said, and I quote, "they have plastic for brains" - with regards to kids and teens.

Stupid wench. Maybe it's not her fault, maybe the peroxide has bleached her brain... into plastic!

Parenting Lists

2005-03-08T21:43:00.000-05:00

A few months back I joined back on some of my old parenting lists. I think at the time I was wanting a refresher, just think more about my parenting philosophies. That sort of thing.

You know what I've gained? At first I got annoyed. I just deleted most of the emails, and the ones I did read just seemed so... not where I am. But recently I gained a whole new appreciation for them.

See, I can enjoy where I am today. In this space. With all the crazy ideas I do have. I enjoy me. And I really appreciate now that I'm not still questioning every single step that I take. Or move I make. Is that someone watching me?

Really though, I don't need to debate if it's ok to allow Johnny to watch TV or not because in my wonderful opinion that's not even the question. The question isn't whether or not Tommy is allowed to eat cake saturday morning first thing. To me the question has simply become how to help the people around me have great lives.

And that feels really good.

There Needs To Be More Hrs in a Day

2005-03-03T12:06:00.000-05:00

Ha. Know what would be great? Some sort of chip-y thing that could be placed into brains with updated calendars, addresses, phone numbers and all those little tiny detail things that get forgotten the second they are written down.

When I was younger I knew all my friend's phone numbers by heart. I had one of those great memories where I could remember just about everything. Especially if it had to do with numbers. Now a days I'm completely lost without my cell phone. I haven't dialed an actual number in ages cause everything is already programmed.

Back to what I was saying though... If I could get one of those brain chip dealies I wouldn't have to make the hard decisions of what to do this weekend. I double planned things all weekend. Not just for friday.

Friday's double planning is easily done. Go to movies, leave movies and go to party. Or just skip one or the other. Saturday's triple planning not so easily done. See, I am attempting to set up [and maintain] the budget, ledgers and various other bookkeeping things for RJ that needs to be at least mostly done by March 14. And I was going to set up a specific part of that, membership, this weekend. BUT then I got invited to this resort place. And by resort I mean spas, hot tubs, pools, massages ~~with hot cabana guys~~ all with a bit of a twist. At the same time I also might be trying to go out with friends. Although luckily that isn't clear and might get changed to friday...

[start update]: GAH!!!! I just remembered my hair appointment is saturday too. ROFLMAO. Really, that's just insane.[end update]

Yeah, I know this posting is really pretty dumb. All I need is for there to be like 144 hrs in a 72 hr span of time. Which really should be in a 48 hr span of time, cause sunday is actually pretty open.

But maybe when I keep saying, "gee why isn't the house clean yet?" I'll remember it's cause I'm actually having a life and well, that's good and fun.

The Mundane Wake Me Up

2005-03-03T11:52:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning and even my fingertips hurt.

Now before you jump to the conclusion that I was sweating my little butt off at the gym, guess again. I didn't actually get there quite yet. Although I had intended on going last night but got stuck in my meeting til almost 10pm.

No, the reason my body was feeling sore is probably due to the fact that I am t.i.r.e.d. Which I'm really not used to. I've been sleeping fairly well the past couple months.

Anyway, yesterday morning I woke up around 5am - the tv was still on. Due to having lost the remote with the handy little sleep button. So when I woke up I also remembered that I made double plans for friday night. Really mundane, no big deal. Yet, could I go back to sleep? Nope. Nadda. Nihn.

I just kept laying there thinking, "geez I need to email blah blah blah and make sure to change plans". I mean, really. Really? That's why I couldn't sleep...

It was just the weirdest thing. So, needless to say I was up from 5am til about midnight, and woke up again earlier than usual. Luckily the sun was actually up this morning :)

Don't Date, Just Hang Out

2005-03-01T22:46:00.000-05:00

Deleted. Lesson learned. Don't blog when tired or past 10pm (whichever comes first)

Mud Stains

2005-03-01T21:01:00.000-05:00

Ok, I said I would explain the mud stains...

Let's see. Where do I start? I guess with RJ. About 3 years ago a small group of people came together with the idea of a resource center for homeschoolers. Wow, just writing that down I can see how much things really can change. Very cool.

Anyway, so for 3 years I've been a part of this group of people working very hard to grow a community of awesome people and find an actual place. The latter seemed to pose a bit of a challenge. Private rentals were worrisome due to the large amount of people coming in and out. Running, yelling, having a good time. Etc. Commercial properties are hella expensive. I mean really hella expensive.

Anyway. So after 3 years of work, we finally found the perfect place. An old barn with 2 apartments on 123 acres of land! On a farm.

Thus explains the mud scenario. Ok, it doesn't really explain anything. Yet.

Well, it seems that farms have mud. And I've been tending to wear my nice jeans to RJ each time. Which is completely insane, I know. And what's even funnier is that I actually wore my favorite jeans to help someone get their minivan unstuck. In the snow. And mud!

When I left that day I was covered in mud to my knees and another pairs of jeans with mud on them. Stupid mud.

P.P.S.

2005-03-01T21:00:00.000-05:00

And just in case you're looking for serious political well thought out posts, this just isn't going to be that place right now.

I know my views on stuff, I'm happy with my views on stuff and I'll leave it at that.

Shop-a-holic

2005-03-01T20:42:00.000-05:00

Hello. My name is @$#@#% and I am a shop-a-holic.

Tonight I got an unexpected night off (what a treat!), so I decided I was going to go and get some jeans that actually fit me. And that don't ironically enough have some sort of mud stain on them. [mud stains explained in a bit]

So, first I went to the gym and got my membership. Then headed to Target, which had all of zip I liked. There was absolutely nothing there I wanted. It's all so..well...not me.

I'm really into this vintage style of clothing right now. Old style corded jackets, jean jacket bombers, long boho hippie skirts (yes, with the added Birkenstocks to boot!), lovely little cami tanks and my own classic, jeans. Hip hugger boot leg to be exact.

So after leaving Target I decided I might go over to the mall and see what's there. And since my favorite consignment shop closed about 2 weeks ago I need a new outlet for my clothing obsession. [And by obsession I mean the 2 pieces of vintage style I've got]

Anyway, so I went to Hecht's after looking around some of the other places in the mall. And I found the best corded jacket! Originally $55, and I got it for $25.99! Yay! Along with that I got a beautiful multi colored cami tank [not on sale] and a pair of jeans that were on sale for $14.99. w000t.

Then we went over to Hot Topic. I was looking for one of those wallet chain thingies cause I think they're hot. And someone else was looking for a spiked bracelet thingie. No, I really have no idea what they really are called. I'm sure they have a perfectly fine name but I like spiked bracelet thingie just the same.

Neither of us found what we were looking for, so we left. Now it's just a quiet evening at home. Ahhhhh :)

p.s. I'm loving being so girly right now. Haha.

On Makeup

2005-03-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

Knitting is slow going again. No really great projects I'm working on. I do know that the sweater I'm working on will probably get frogged since warm weather (hopefully) is coming. Thus making the sweater a complete waste. Except there is someone else who it might fit...Yeah, so knitting is whatever right now.

But, I have found a fantastic small pleasure. Lately when I've been going out I have put on makeup. As anyone who knows me [well] knows, this is highly unusual for me.

Growing up I never needed to, nor wanted to wear makeup. I was what some might classify as a tomboy. I did tricks on my BMX bike, had skinned knees and most summers had at least one strawberry running down my leg. I played football with the boys. Ran around the neighborhood playing 'war'. I wore army fatigues (usually with my pink Micheal Jackson t-shirt). Hey man, it was the 80's. Hush.

So as you can tell, makeup just was not something on my radar. Ever. So, what's really nice is that I am absolutely without a doubt loving makeup right now.

It feels so luxurious to sit in front of the mirror!

What I find interesting is seeing different personalities part of myself come out, with different looks. If I wear darker colors and blacks I feel punkish and rocker like. Earthy tones and I feel like the Goddess Of Earth mommas. Err, yeah. Brighter colors brings out a bubbly, night club kind of persona. It's really fun to play around with the different colors, textures. Styles. Try new kinds.

And what's funny (to me, at least) is how simple that is. Like brushing teeth, or drinking a cup of tea. Something so small, yet so fantastic!

Gyms

2005-03-01T09:38:00.000-05:00

I'm joining a gym.

Last night I was txt msg'n w/sis' beau (or ex beau, who knows). Anyway, so the gym he goes to is pretty reasonably priced so I think I'm going to join it.

I've been wanting to do something good for myself, get in shape and they have an awesome BodyFlow class (yoga, tai chi, pilates) that is on wednesday nights! How perfect is that?

Sometime in the spring, once it's warm and before it's too hot I want to go on a backpacking & hiking trip. And I know it's been a good 2 years since my last hiking trip, so I need to get my body back into shape for it. And somehow doing that without losing anymore weight. Because if I lose anymore weight I will no longer exsist or will become a paper doll. Something like that. (meaning I need to gain a little weight back)

Yeah. I really want to hike 3 - 4 miles (maybe 5), stop. Pop the tent, eat some grub and sleep under the stars. With absolutely no one around. Anywhere. The only sounds I want to hear are from the crickets and birds. Then I want to wake up, hike back. Go home and shower.

Somehow that just seems like the perfect overnight trip right now.

Clean Comments

2005-03-01T09:27:00.000-05:00

I've added comments. Err, yay? Please keep it nice.

One nice thing about waking up early is that I can do stuff all by myself, like clean the kitchen, a couple loads of laundry...

Vaccum. Which is my favorite thing to do. Even if there's crap all over the floor a quick vaccum up around it and the whole room is clean. Right.

Anyway, so I got up early and started cleaning up. wOOt or something.

Random-y Randomness

2005-02-28T11:42:00.000-05:00

It's snowing. Again. So far we haven't had any real crap snows, but nothing really great either. Just a couple inches that melts away the next day when it's like 60 degrees. Anyway, so outside it's snowing again.

Friday. Our netflix movies came friday. Nothing spectacular... just something to pass the time. Metallica: Some Kind Of Monster. (one of the movies) - it was really fascinating. Basically a documentary following the band while they made their last album.

I went to the store, didn't do much beyond that. Checked email, chatted. Nothing much...

Saturday. Woke up and wanted to clean. The house is in disaster mode again... maybe one day it won't be? Although I think I've got some motivation for getting it straightened, some. That's another posting anyway..

Anyway, so nothing much happened during the day 'cept cleaning. Heh.

I was alone again. Getting kinda bored of that one. I haven't really had this kind of time to myself ~~ever~~, in at least 7 - 10 years so figuring out what's next has proven itself a tad tricky. Yeah, so I decided I would go hang at the local coffee shop. However my plan got changed. After some text messages I was heading out. Ran home put on some makeup, and my warm sheepskin boots and went out.

Canal. I'm discovering some of the local watering holes. I like this place. Just seems to be one of those places where everyone knows your name. Well, not my name cause I've only been twice. Right, so I go and meet up with some peoples. Have a beer. (ok, so maybe it was 2).. Leave.

Firestone's. Who the hell has even heard of this place? I'm sure people who actually leave the house and socialize with other non-mom types probably knows. Err, yeah. What was I saying? Oh yeah, Firestone's. So we decide to go there... Well, I had a blast! There was a blues/jazzy type band playing, you could barely hear the person screaming in your ear next to you, got some free drinks from some random people. Whatever. It was fun.

Maybe I'll try that again.

Sunday. Woke up late, had to get a cab to get to my car. Got to the greek resturant an hour late, hung out for a bit. Then headed to Hag'town to visit the ol' familia. It was nice.

I'm bored with this post now, might delete it later...

On Travel

2005-02-24T13:36:00.000-05:00

Can anyone tell me how much flights costs is actually worked out?

I'm trying to figure out when to visit Michigan, to see a dear friend but the costs of flights makes no sense at all. A one-way trip from MI to MD costs $475!! Yet, if I plan to go in April I can go roundtrip for $174. WTF?

It costs triple just to ride home?! That seems to be rather insane to me. I have to say, I don't really get how prices are even close to decided. So, anyway I think I'll be traveling mid-April instead of next weekend...

Bad Day

2005-02-23T23:37:00.000-05:00

When it rains, it pours. Or so it would seem.

We have had a terrible time with animals in the past 48 hours. On sunday I was on the phone with a friend when I noticed the hamster was having a terrible time moving. I got off the phone, thinking I would call the vet. I picked him up, and could feel him breathing hard and felt him backbone sticking out. He died right then. :(

I'll be honest, I didn't put much thought into why at that point because hamsters do not have a long life span. And my guess is that the hamster was at least 1.5 - 2 years so I just kinda chalked it up to 'old age'.

That was until around 4:00 today. I was checking email when it was announced that another critter friend was no longer moving. And that even after water was spritzed on the little critter, it was still not moving. So I went upstairs to find that Dragon (the guinea pig) had also died.

ACK!!!!

By this point I was pretty concerned. I emailed a friend (whom I happen to go to with most problems), asking her to get online. And then ended up calling shortly afterwards.

Anyway, after talking with her and then the vet's office we had a theory. One of two things happened;

1. Rotten food. The food went bad and killed them both. (this is the most likely the vet thinks)

OR

2. A virus. It's possible that one had gotten a virus and by touching one, then touching the other it got passed along. Seems unlikely as they aren't even in the same room but it's still a possibility.

Regardless, it's not been a pleasant experience with animals within the last few days. And if the cat even sneezes, it's going to the vet. Immediately.

For The Knitters Out There

2005-02-22T23:00:00.000-05:00

This next blog post is completely about knitting, so if you are here for any other reason... umm, come back later?

So, sometimes I get a little strange. Meaning, I get a little OCD when it comes to knitting. Not in the 'I must be perfect and never make mistakes' sort of way. More in the I started this knitting project and I can NOT seem to walk away from it.

Well, I had one of those moments yesterday. I decided I wanted to try felting a handbag, so I pulled out the Denise Interchangables, size 10.5 needles with the 16" circs and quickly grabbed my peace fleece yarn. (To be specific I grabbed 1 ball each of shaba, mushroom, glasnot gold, salmon) and began.

After casting on 90 stitches twice (the first time I cast on I began straight knitting, the second time I decided to go with a garter stitch top. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that at 10:15 am I began this project. By 5:00pm I had gone completely pyscho and decided I must finish this project today.

Incidentally I also decided to shape this bag similar to a hat (just to give you a visual) about that time. As an aside I did not sit the entire time just knitting, there was some computer time, eating, helping and other small various things being done... ya'know just in case you had the idea I was more crazy than I might be...

Right. So, I finished the project. 12.5 inches before decrease and staying up til 1:15 am but I finished the whole darn thing. Err, I mean I finished the bag part of it.

Today I learned how to make an I-cord at my Stitch & Bitch group, which was helpful since I'm planning to make i-cord drawstrings for the bag and possibly i-cord handles...

Anyway, I just thought you might like to know I finished the bag part of The Bag. In a day. Wow. I mean, yeah. Cool.

What's Happening (And No We Don't Mean The Show)

2005-02-20T11:11:00.000-05:00

I don't usually share personal stuff, but considering no one knows about this place... here it is anyway.

Let's see, where to start. I suppose I could write it out like I was talking with an old friend I haven't seen in say the past 2 years. Umm. Right.

In the fall of 2003 a sweet babe joined the clan. It was an amazing birth, with all the right people there. In a log cabin. In the middle of the woods. (yes dear, you read that correctly). I'm a rebel or something.

In between then and the early summer not much happened, just adjusting. Then almost a year ago life changed again. I became a single person again. After 9 long years, finally decided to be rational again. It was terrifying, exhilirating, and amazing all at once. Not sure how else to describe it.

Let's see since then, I've moved. I have my very own place, for the 1st time ever. I LOVE IT! Love, love, love it! I never had my own place before, so it's really fun.
Oh, we also got a lovely snake. His final name ended up being Gandalf (that's for you Ms. Snakegiver)... So now animals are over-taking our house! Yay. I've always been a huge animal lover and glad to have some pets back in the house. Of course remembering to feed them and who gets what when... well not always easy to do. Guinea pig gets new food about every other day, and water then too. Hamster is about the same. Right now the cat's food dish (sucks) is too small and needs to be given food & water every day, and the snake is supposed to be every tuesday a frozen/defrosted pinkie. Do you know how many tuesdays that's actually been since christmas? Yes, so usually Mr. Gandalf gets feed on thursdays (and for some reason I haven't just said, ok feed snake thursday) when I hit myself in the head and go, "Doh!" and run up the stairs to feed the snake.

Oh! Oh! Oh! In January 2005 we finally got a space for RJ! (RJ is a community of really cool people who like to hang out, basically) But that's a whole other post in itself. So you'll have to wait on more details there... (and if you really want the details, you will have to email me and remind me to blog about it because I'm sure I will forget in between writing this right now and walking downstairs in 5 minutes)

What else can I say? 3 kids. Life is so busy. Organizing 4 different lives, personalities, time schedules is like a full time job just itself. The best thing I realized is that sometimes stuff gets neglected. Toys lie on the floor for long periods of time without ever picked up, and that's alright. Laundry takes decades to actually accomplish because laundry never ends until you decide to be a nudist anyway, so the fact there's always at least 4 loads to do is ok too. One day (again when I decide to be a nudist and live in the middle of the woods) there will be no more laundry to do. Until then, just enjoy the time there is and stop worrying about stupid laundry.

Cooking. I am SO glad I took off those 2 years of cooking. I am finally able to really utterly enjoy cooking again. And I'm getting really good at it. I can plan out meals really well but I can also just open the fridge and say, hmm this probably is good together - let's try that and have it turn out fantastic. I'm so great.

Dating. So far, dating seems next to impossible. a) I don't like the idea of dating. b) I really don't like the idea of dating and c) I really just hate the idea of dating. Heh. I'm just not a sadomasochist. I think people just be able to meet and enjoy each other without being "Prince Charming" or "are we gonna fuck later" pressure. Meet, hang out. Do stuff. Whatever. It should be easy. Of course actually meeting the opposite sex seems a tad tough right now. Getting out of 'mommy' mode, and back to places that actually have other people besides other moms and kids is probably a good start. So, I've been doing that.

I have this theory that friends beget friends. Meaning I'm not going out 'catting around' (as my dear sisters love to call it. LOL) Also meaning, friends you best be hooking me up. Ha ha. Ok, that was a partial joke. (notice partial people. Ok, I swear I'm kidding)

Anyway, life is great. there's not enough time in the day to do all the things I like doing. But, I wouldn't change a thing.

I'm Blogging, Again?

2005-02-20T11:02:00.000-05:00

Welcome. welcome. welcome. I got bored and decided to blog something. Who knows if it will last a week, a day or a year. I've missed writing my craziness down into thoughts, working thru problems and getting new ideas. So here I am again.

I intend to blog about everything from my latest knitting project/s to buying a sewing machine all up and down political stuffz. I'm sure I'll throw in lots about a project I've been working on for 3 years now that is finally physical and not just imagined. It's very exciting, so I can't imagine not talking about that. At least a ~~little~~ a lot.

So yeah, hi. waves. Come back and join us now ya'here?